


a heart no home can hold (the hole we left behind)

by biochemprincess



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:26:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8385361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biochemprincess/pseuds/biochemprincess
Summary: Wynonna thinks about leaving and Waverly deals with the aftermath of being left behind.





	

* * *

_i. a heart no home can hold_

 

Early September is giving summer one last go and the sun is burning down onto the town. Wynonna hits the vents of the air condition to no real effort. Sweat is pooling everywhere, down her breasts and spine, until her T-shirt sticks to her body.

_Greeaaat._

Gross doesn't even begin to cover how she feels, but the air condition has stopped working a week ago, which wouldn't have mattered so close to autumn, because who could've predicted this kind of weather so late. The newspaper are full of bad jokes about the 'hell weather'. Wynonna cringes internally at the mere thought.

She parks the car in front of the post office and tries to exist somewhat gracefully. Judging from the looks and the shake of his head Nedley is giving her from across the street it's not working. Wynonna doesn't care, so she puts on a sickly sweet smile and gives him the finger.

He hates her already, let him hate her even more. His opinion is not worth a dime.

The opinions of this town are about as important as a pimple on her chin. There's only _one_ person that matters.

And Waverly isn't here right now.

Lately her mind had often strayed into uncharted territory, onto roads not taken. The world is calling for her, a loud booming voice fighting against the shackles that hold her to this town. Every look of disdain and disapproval is another step closer to packing her bags, another reason to leave.

_How could she stay?_

But something has always kept her from going away.

Wynonna knows exactly _who_ it is, lying and denial only go so far.

_How could she leave?_

The two devils on each shoulder fight for attention, for her consciousness. There are never any angels, no good decisions left for her. It's just the question which way she'll do more harm. Which choice is more selfish, leaving or staying?

She hasn't found a proper answer yet.

For many years it hadn't been a question at all. Waverly means more to her than anything in the world. But there are cracks inside her, those she tries to hide so badly, and she thinks she harms her sister more than she helps her.

Wynonna tries to put her thoughts under lock and key, but it doesn't exactly work for her. She quickly get the package she's here for, happy it arrived in time. Sometimes luck finds even those who don't deserve it, she thinks to herself.

A girl she went to school with walks past her , pushing a stroller in front of her and another kid at her side. Caroline. She was always halfway decent back then, not hating her guts for no reason at all, so Wynonna flashes her and the kids a quick smile.

Daggers pierce her heart at the sight of a life she cannot have, not with the curse constantly looming over her head and a life she doesn't want, not yet possibly never, forever chained to this town. 

She wants the ocean and wind in her hair, she wants freedom, she wants a life free from eyes on her, free from her name and her life and her legacy. The same sun, the same sky, the same stars, just thousands of miles away from here. It's a special kind of selfishness, but how can anyone condemn her for wanting peace in a life that has never given her a choice?

Wynonna thinks about her mother, who just left and ran, and for the first time in many years she thinks she might understand why exactly she left everything behind.

Left them behind, her family, her _daughters_. 

The sun still beats down mercilessly as she gingerly puts the small package on the passenger seat, the past right at her finger tips.

For the first time in her life, Wynonna thinks she might not only be her father's heir, an Earp. For the first time in her life she thinks she might be her mother's daughter too.

 

* * *

  

_ii. the hole we left behind_

 

Waverly barely has one foot over the threshold of the apartment, but she already knows that it will be a silent home, an empty home. It is just as clear to her as the moon shining into the kitchen window, as the fast beat of her heart.

She’d be lying if she says it’s a surprise.

It’s clearly not.

She’d be lying if she says it doesn’t hurt.

_It does._

It rips her heart to shreds.

She throws her messenger bag into the closest corner and aimlessly wanders through the rooms; until she ends up in her sister's. Everything is wrapped in darkness, deep dark black, the blinds closing of all the moonlight from outside.

Waverly doesn’t bother with the light at all. There’s nothing to see she doesn’t know and there’s nobody here to be found.

Wynonna is gone.

She sits down on her sister's bed and just breathes. The scent of her perfume is still in the air. The wardrobe is empty and so are the picture frames. Most of her other stuff is still here. Wy had taken the basic and then she had left.

It doesn't surprise her Wy didn't say goodbye. It's not her style. But like everything else it hurts nonetheless. 

Tears prick in her eyes, but she doesn't let them fall yet. Waverly has always know it would come to this sooner than later and her big sister has made it far longer than she’d have given her. She wants to tell her how much it means to her, how she sacrificed her dreams for so long.

They had lived on borrowed time together for so many years and now, the clock had struck twelve in the end. She knows Wy only stayed _for her_ the last few years; she could've left the day _she_ turned 18, but she hadn't.

No, Wynonna had left the day _Waverly_ turned 18.

Well, _the day after._

One more small gift to be grateful for.

Crumpled up gift wrap in a bright pink lies to her feet and Waverly smiles, tasting salty tears on her lips. It must have been the first of many attempts to wrap her birthday present, to get it right. Wynonna had never been good at it, lacking the patience for it. But yesterday Wy had proudly given her the perfectly wrapped gift. 

Waverly gets up suddenly, unable to spend another minute in the room. She feels like an intruder, like the ghost of her sister is haunting her when she is so close to her possessions. There are too many ghosts in her family already and she's the only living being left behind.

She walks into her room, closing the door behind. She takes her birthday present into her hands and slides down the wall. The floor holds a comfort nothing else can give her right now. Waverly softly browses through the pages of the book, without actually looking at the pages.

It's a photo album.

The photos in the album are only of them. Nobody else. There's not a single one of Gus and Curtis, not of their absent mother, not of their dead father and sister. It's only them. It must have taken her ages to collect them all.

She must have known she would leave.

A yellow post it note sticks from one of the pages and Waverly pulls it off the page. Written in black ink in Wynonna's neat hand writing is only one line.

_We're Earps, girl. You've always been the better one._

"Oh, Wy." Waverly wraps her arms around the book, clutching it like a lifeline through stormy sea."I hope you find what you're looking for."

_I hope you come back._

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from the song 'the runners' by the naked and famous. please let me know what you think about it. you can also find me @ mightyjemma.tumblr.com


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